


Heart Beats

by olivemartini



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt, Romance, camsten, heart concdition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4456451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemartini/pseuds/olivemartini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Cameron realizes that Kirsten is constantly checking to make sure his heart is working.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart Beats

Kirsten liked to keep track of his heart beats whenever possible.

Cameron had initially laughed when Kirsten had come clean about Vanessa's psychic vision about him being the next consciousness she stitched into, promising that he would be around to pester her for a long time, like it or not.  He hadn't realized how much the thought of him leaving her had scared her, or how much of her time was spent obsessing over his heart condition.

It was a testament to her character, he supposed, that she didn't treat him like some fragile, breakable thing like his parents had.  She was so afraid of losing him, of being left behind by yet another person she cared about, Cameron was surprised that she hadn't locked him away in a padded room, hooked up to a heart monitor.  It took him a while for him to even notice that she was worried, because the signs were all subtle things- reminding him to refill his prescription, never suggesting they go out for food at a restaurant that was unhealthy, always hovering around after they do anything that might possible fall under the category of physical activity.  But it was the heart beat thing that made him notice.

At first, back when the wall they had between each other finally crumbled down, allowing them to be so close they were basically the same person, Kirsten had contented herself with his pulse.  He found it a little weird that whenever she wanted his attention she would touch his wrist, the same two fingered, four second long hold every time.  It would happen at the lab, out in public, at his house.  Sometimes, if she was in an especially distracted state of mind, she would reach out and hold her hand there, not letting go until she had organized her thoughts. On more than one occasion he was convinced she had begun to do it out of habit.  She would be talking to Camille, then reach out towards Cameron, not stopping until she had grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him closer, absent mindedly stroking across his wrist.  He chalked it up to residual emotion most of the time, or perhaps she just wanted to reassure herself that he was okay.  It was much later that he finally realized what she was doing: checking his pulse, making sure his heart was working right. 

It bugged him at first.  Did she not think he would be able to realize when a very vital organ stopped working?  But when he tried to confront her about it, she had gotten so flustered and upset that he felt immediately guilty.  Who's to say she even knew she was doing it?  Maybe it was instinctive for her, to care for him in the most scientific way she could, comforting for her, even if it bothers him.  It's not like he didn't enjoy the feeling of her hand in his, thumb running over his skin. 

When the nightmares started, it became something very obvious.  Kirsten couldn't help it- she awoke screaming, terrified and out of her mind with panic every other night.  Camille could sleep through anything and had no idea about her room mates problems, but Kirsten was forced to wander the house alone.  Until Cameron confronted her about it, of course, and had proceeded to tell her that from now on she should drive over to his apartment and wake him up, no matter what the time.

It had taken her a while to actually follow through on his offer.  But once she did (the first night making it through seven episodes of Doctor Who before she finally fell asleep again), it never stopped.  The nightly visits became something of a routine, until Cameron was tired of getting out bed and eventually just gave her a key to his front door and an invitation to wake him up if she needed comforting. 

She crawls into bed with him, pulling back the covers and snuggling up close to him.  He always woke up, putting an arm around her and making sure she's okay before going back to sleep.  Even with this, somehow much more intimate than anything he's ever done with a girl, he was aware of the line neither of them was willing to cross.  So he kept his mouth shut, and in the morning she'll be gone, and neither of them ever brings it up.

Until the night he catches her keeping time with his heart beats.

She had her head on his chest, right over the scar, hand clutched tight onto his shoulder.  Her fingers were tapping out a rhythm.  It was a comforting enough gesture, for the both of them, but Cameron had decided it had gone along for far too long.  "It won't stop, you know.  My heart's good for a couple decades."

Kirsten stiffened beside him, and the tapping stopped.  "I'm counting them."

The fact that she checked to make sure his heart was still working when it clearly was confused him enough, but the fact that she actually counted was baffling.  "Why?"

"If I count them, I can tell myself that you still have a lot left.  I worry that we don't have the same amount stored up sometimes, because what if I have to live without you?  I can't do that."  There was a hint of desperation in her tone, and her grip on his shoulder was tightening. 

"You might have to someday."  The words were hard to force out, but he didn't want her to think that his situation was better than it was.

Kirsten didn't speak, just pressed a kiss to his wrist, once, then twice.  It was a strange gesture, but he knew she was trying to comfort Cameron and herself at the same time, in the only way she knew how.  "Well, if you run out of heartbeats anytime soon," she said, laying her head down on his chest once more and starting up with the tapping, "I'll just give you some of mine."

And who was he to argue with that?

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really know how to end this (or where I was going in the first place), but I hope that was okay! Please leave comments if you have any suggestions or critiques about my writing.   
> Check out my other fics if you liked this one!


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